Sunday, May 29, 2011

Will tigers blood defend you from an alien attack on your apartments and real estate in Rio de Janeiro?

By Ronaldo Gaucho


Even before you start reading this article I have some thorough instructions for you. Immediately go into your kitchen and locate some aluminum foil. All apartments ought to be stocked with this very important supply. If you can't find any in the kitchen, just proceed to the local Rio de Janeiro grocery store and you are therefore sure to find some for sale. Do that now. I'm waiting.

Okay, you have the aluminum foil? Now put it around your head but in the end make a long stick of aluminum foil off the top of your head. The taller the better. This can keep them from controlling you. Okay, now that that's been completed, you might want to go to the penthouse level of your building, it will give you the best reception and it will shield you from the mind reading waves. This piece of real estate is the best spot for you at the moment.

Now that you have taken the necessary safety measures, you should now know that even though you've made the resolution to seek out apartments that are in Rio de Janeiro, this kind of real estate is no longer safe. Historically, from the time of Hollywood's beginnings, it has been documented that aliens only go to the United States and they only speak English. Unfortunately, because Brazil is becoming a larger participant on the world stage, they are also starting to pull in aliens and an invasion could be impending. Before long, your penthouse overlooking Copacabana and Ipanema could be overrun with the bald green skinned rascals. You've been cautioned.

So how will you defend yourself from the alien attack of Rio de Janeiro? Well fortunately knowledge is power, and now you know. You were successful enough to find some aluminum foil for sale, but you can't just let yourself be the sole person to know. That would be self-centered. You need to start spreading this information. So at once, at this moment, you should go and run through the streets of Copacabana and Ipanema screaming, "Aliens are coming!"

It's extremely important that you do this. The aliens aren't here on holiday. They didn't travel here for a vacation. They came here for a very particular piece of real estate, Earth. Regrettably, our apartments are located here, so we all have a stake in this. Last time I checked, we didn't put the Earth up for sale.




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