As you've long suspected, the risk of lawn gnomes has been spreading. What was only a problem for north American suburbia has now spread to the shores of Rio de Janeiro. Copacabana and Ipanema are no longer safe. Most likely, your flats, apartments and hotels are about to be flooded, if they haven't already. The lawn gnomes are here on holiday with a few days to kill, literally. Here are a few tips on surviving the onslaught before they are running all over the real estate that you just happen to be taking up.
Initially, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be residing at. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are running around your flats. Don't forget to memorize the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle concealed. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their invasion. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good in the event you can't peddle your heart out.
If break free from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you may be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you will have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time penetrating layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some safeguard.
Also, you can't forget to practice for the approaching doom of a garden gnome onslaught in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to reaches for a flashlight and the other should have already got a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also take into consideration rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever expected for this kind of assault to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one expected that the lawn gnomes would be going south. So it looks like you must cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be creeping with them. It should be noted that not one of the tips in this guide assures your survival in the eventuality of a brutal lawn gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
Initially, you need to be familiar with your exit strategies for the apartments or hotels that you might be residing at. Practice exiting from a first-story window. You may need to jump from your accommodations if a hoard of gnomes are running around your flats. Don't forget to memorize the layouts. Those little bastards have been known to cut power lines. Also, be sure and have a second bicycle concealed. Lawn gnomes always disable your car rentals and also your bicycle before their invasion. And finally, don't forget cardio. That bicycle won't do you any good in the event you can't peddle your heart out.
If break free from your apartments or hotels are not an option, you may be left with hand to gnome combat. Keep a weapon in every room so you will have something available to fight back. Also, get in the habit of dressing in layers. Their little blades and arrows will have a harder time penetrating layers of clothes. This will make accommodations for at least some safeguard.
Also, you can't forget to practice for the approaching doom of a garden gnome onslaught in Rio de Janeiro. Practice rising from bed quickly in attack mode. One hand to reaches for a flashlight and the other should have already got a weapon in hand to club or stab the little demons. One might also take into consideration rentals of some robust firepower.
No one ever expected for this kind of assault to occur in Rio de Janeiro, so good luck. No one expected that the lawn gnomes would be going south. So it looks like you must cut your vacation short.
Copacabana and Ipanema will both soon be creeping with them. It should be noted that not one of the tips in this guide assures your survival in the eventuality of a brutal lawn gnome attack, but it should at least give you a fighting chance. Good hunting and stay safe!
About the Author:
Rio de Janeiro Properties is a real-estate organization in Brazil offering quality apartments for rent in rio de janeiro. Book your rio de janeiro flats before they all are taken.
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